If I could hear you right now I’m sure your fist comment would be “what about using your own quote?” – I could use a few arguments like “the wheel is already there, why should I try to invent it?”…but the topic isn’t about discussing big quotes. it’s about all those manuals we have today one click away or in bookstores “be the best at…”, “Present like a master…” or “how to enhance..” and so on.
Right, you read some and it didn’t work that much did it? We don’t change overnight. we might change small details, we might build knowledge little by little, but we don’t change our essence, our ADN, who we really are, and certainly not with a quick kit or tool.
Since very young we’ve been pointed out examples of who we should be, how we should behave, how we should react, where we should go, what to study or who to become one day. We’ve been given examples to follow from our parents, our teachers, our relatives and so on. We should be as polite as the neighbor’s son, as intelligent as our cousin, we should dress like Mr Z son, and we should study medicine or law as uncle John.
In the meantime we start to have our own examples, following our own idols at bigger or smaller scale. We want to be like them. Brave, strong, handsome, provocative, genius, rock stars, football players, rich entrepreneurs. Success in any form or recognition and acceptance from our family or entourage. But again, when we look in the mirror and when we think about who have we been, we just see ourselves (luckily).
I remember in the early days of internet when the popular chat rooms were the “next big thing”, my nickname was Gandhi (Yes, misspelled). I Would never think one day I’d be writing over it, but it links perfectly with today’s topic.
That experience we had of being pointed out examples of who to be like, didn’t end up there. It will be always around you especially on your working environment. You will have your own motivators, people, colleagues or bosses who will inspire you, your own hierarchy, management or HR will give you examples of successful colleagues as example you should follow. For their presentation skills, intelligence, position, capacity to overcome failure and so on and so on.
And very often we tend indeed to follow or pursue someones style. But again the result isn’t quite the same and we get frustrated as we failed. We didn’t, we just can’t be anyone else. You walk different, you act different, you think different and you react different. Your look, your analysis and your vision is different. we can’t simply “copy/paste” all wonderful things we see in others to close our gaps. we may attend endless seminars, we can read dozens of books, but if we miss one small detail, it won’t work. We may always gain or add some extra knowledge to our library, but not at the scale we expected or that people would expect. We are different from every single peer. look inside your own bloodline. Brothers and sisters are raised with same values and convictions, with same principles and education, even with same habits and routines/culture or religion. Thou, regardless how many you are in your family I’d bet you’re all different. Thou your might admire your brothers/sister attitude, character or achievements. why couldn’t you be at same level?
Very simple, you’re an unique “piece”. No one else has your own look, analysis and vision, felling, needs.
Is it useless than to read books, attend seminars or engage in healthy discussions? absolutely not, it’s a must. We must remain curious, ask, wonder, dream. We must be able to absorb, digest and link every small piece of puzzles we have floating in our memory.
But in order to get the most of any inspires or leader, in order to get the most of any “toolkit” or guide we must be conscientious that we need to shape that into our own personality, we need to dissect what fits and what adds to who we are and throw away the “personal” part of it, the part that we’ll never be able to put on.
So don’t try to be a Mr Deepak, or a Mr Jobs, or your CEO. They have their roles and their mission, you have yours, and who knows which one is more important? Keep reading their inspiring messages, keep questioning their positions, keep asking them (or yourself) questions, keep absorbing every hint and tips that fit you, but without the intention or willingness to be like them. It would be a waste as we already have them, use your potential on your own purpose (even if the vision or mission is alike, be yourself, bring your touch along).
Remember, you’re not competing with them, neither with your colleagues or neighbors or relatives. You’re just comparable to the best version of yourself. that’s your bench-marking. Not to anyone else, but to yourself. Are you the best version of yourself? are you really giving all you got? what would you like to improve? what is your vision? do you follow it? could you go a bit further? do you want to go further? what stops you from being where you are and where you imagine yourself?
Bottom line, all the wonderful things we can read or hear from leaders or influencer, all the learn we may extract, the enjoy, the questions or what we can absorb from any source or motivator, must fit or be shaped into your personality in that internal exercise so that you fill your potential is being fulfilled and that your purpose is clear on the search of internal peace of mind and your place on earth, being at personal or professional level.