Anxiety buidling up? feeling your lagging behind? worry you’re wasting your life?
Lately I came across this question very often in the most different platforms or media, as if there’s a list one should tick and check if they’re on track with their life’s.
Speed. It’s all going so fast seems people are afraid to be losing the train or not being able to cope with amount of accomplishments one should have at certain stage to be seen as “successful”.
The most difficult and useful thing to learn, is to stop living based on “standards” and “trends”. You’re an individual, not a statistic. Every single person is different.
Take one family of 3 brothers. All raised the same, by the same principles, education and circumstances. Each of them will have a completely different path. Facing the same challenge, each will act and react completely different. Why would there be one thing that would fit all 30’s community?
Seems like life stage is a “thick in the box” exercise.
- Do this at 15
- Do that at 20’s
- Do that at 30’s
- and so on.
I’ve seen dozens, hundreds or even thousands of people doing that a kind of “by the book” but in the end not enjoying the journey or not being able to live it properly. Get your master at 24, a manager role before 30’s, married with an equally successful partner, kids, house with all comfort, trips…and I’ve seen people losing it all the same way.
What’s my point? Every single person is different. Everyone has his dreams, passions, realities, visions, ambitions, challenges, failures, learnings, opportunities and wasted opportunities and wasted challenges. Therefore its useless to look at those standards. Change the list. Have no list at all. Learn, build, create, absorb, evolve all along the way with no label on your back of your accomplishments.
In my opinion there are two or three things one must do, but this applies to any age or stage of one’s life
- Take action. You never regret what you tried. Even if it didn’t work. you may find later you should have done something different. Moving from reactive to pro-active means you drive your life, not the others. When you react you’re sustaining the path or course driven by others or circumstances. When you act, you’re defining your future.
- Regrets are linked to inactivity. To things you didn’t said or done and you think very deep inside of you, you should have done it. You didn’t chase you dream, you didn’t dare to ask her out. You didn’t dare to change your course. You didn’t apologize and now (you think) it’s too late. Regrets are linked to the past. You’re living in the present. You can’t change the past. you can off course, debrief a negative experience. Check what went wrong, what could have you done different. But then, move on. NO over thinking, no regrets. Back to the present. What do you have today? shitty situation? how can you get the best out of it? what good thing might be hidden in there? Use it as an learning opportunity and don’t brand it as a set-back.
- Fear. Fear is linked to the future. To the uncertainty, to not knowing what to expect. Drop it. Live the present, and by living the present and doing what you should do in the present, your paving the future ahead. Face the unexpected with enthusiasm and as an excitement, you’ll find a way to get the best out of it. Don’t let it block your potential.
Live. Live in the present. Live with intent, with passion. Make choices, be curious. Enjoy the unexpected, enjoy what you have and what you’ve build, don’t do it to fit any “box” or belong to any tribe. In the end, when we pass away what will last? Our diploma’s? Our jobs or position? Our house? Our car? Our status? A memory. Stories. Gratitude. Legacy of what we’ve built, what we’ve shared, what we’ve taught, what we’ve lived.