Institutions of power use(d) basic principles by changing their fundamental meaning to control and put limitations over the masses. Unconsciously, generations, schools, religions and educational systems have passed them on (as the way to be and behave) and became standards from which we limit our real and full potential. What becomes important is to fit a certain box (culture, religion, education, society, tribe) not exploring boundaries and questioning systems in place. As a child we search, we bite, we explore, we dare; Without fear, without questioning ourselves, without following all rules and concepts. We’re happy and fulfilled.
Most of the ones we call genius, were at their time complete “disruptive” and therefore set aside society. Often probing exclusion, (unfair) trials, pejorative labeling and discredited by the “owners” of the society of that time. Be it religious, social or any other power system in place. People like Colombo, Leonardo Da Vinci, Einstein, Mozart, Molière or Shakespeare. On a much recent level we could name MLK, Gandhi or Mandela. People that in their time and during their journey could have been labelled as terrorists, traitors, lunatics and daydreamers. Only years after (many years in most cases) we’re able to understand their stand point, to share their vision or willing to be part of such torrent.
Despite all those examples, societies keep limiting people’s initiatives, creativity and boundaries. To keep their control.
Words like “you Should”, “you shouldn’t”, “you can’t”, “that’s not fair”, “do you care” “you must”, “we’ve always did it that way” and others alike are based on wrong relation towards oneself and the others as they’re not source of truly independence, respect and emotional connection but source of habits, creeds, education and expectations of the world that surrounds us. We go through the day expecting the world and the others to behave in certain patterns. If they don’t we’re disappointed, they’re “wrong”, they’re not behaving or they don’t care for us or the others. It’s all about expectations, labelling or putting people in boxes.
Since childhood we’re told what to do, what to say, what to feel, what to show, how to behave and react. “Do this, don’t do that”, “Say hello”, “ don’t swear”, “be fair to your brother”, “take care of”. The story goes on at school, religious education, sports, high school and so on. By age of 18, you’re a “finish product”. You’re “programmed”. You know what to say, how to behave, how to respond, how to react.
As you grow up you build your intelligence and personality, you think for yourself. Pity that in most cases it’s contained in certain limits and perimeter to keep you within the “circle”.
As you enter in your “active life” you have therefore this “guidelines”, these rules of etiquette that you’ll follow. Seems there are more rules on earth than people to obey them. Why? This need of control and standardize as a big assembly line.
Below are just a few examples of concepts that have been molded in the “right and wrong” approach and the “right” version shadows completely any other intention:
- Perfectionism: Enemy of “experiment”, “try”, “dare”. If you can’t make it perfect, don’t do it. Why on earth? Do we have to excel in all domains or remain only in the domains we can excel? Can’t we try other areas?. Try, do, have fun. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
- Planning. Yes you need to know where you’re heading but don’t be an hostage of the plan. Accept the unexpected with enthusiasm, push your boundaries. Improvise. Life isn’t a straight line from A to Z. Planning is everything, the plan is nothing.
- Fairness. Life isn’t fair, period. Accept what life’s brings you and check how can you make the best out of it. Some grow rich, beautiful, taller, thinner. Are they happy and fulfilled just for that?. You have your own role, don’t limit yourself to any label, you can rise high above, much above you limit yourself.
- Security: Enemy of growth, experiment and evolution. Fake perception. You think it’s better to live an ordinary life just because it’s safer than taking a change in your life?
- To care. It isn’t about saying it or even showing it expecting people to behave the same way with us. To care is helping/supporting people and setting them free, not expecting that by “carrying” we’ll have their attention and appreciation in return.
- Multitasking: One of the most preeminent myths of modern society. Tends to show importance, skills, ability and hard work. In reality means not enjoying or appreciating the moment that most counts: now. You run through things, people, places or activities without enjoying their essence of beauty.
- Fear: One of the most efficient ways to keep you immobilized. Remember FEAR= false Experience Appearing real. Fear of what? That things go wrong? What is more exciting, the fear it goes wrong or the benefit and excitement if it goes right?
- Failure: There you are. You dared to challenge your fears and you failed. trashed and shamed by your friends, family or society. So what? It’s not about what they think of you or you experience but what you think of yourself. Do dogs feel depressed because they didn’t catch the ball? Or birds stop whistling because one day they didn’t made it right? Go on with your life.
- Worry and Anxiety: There’s only one moment where you live. Now. The past won’t change with your regrets, the future won’t be different because of your worries. I never knew anyone of could change their future because they were worried or their past because they had regrets.
Bottom line, values, beliefs and ethics aren’t monopoly of religions, societies or governments. They’re there to support you and each of us, to reach their full potential and vision, not to limit or restrain us from chasing the best version of ourselves. The best way we could fit and enhance our ourselves and our society is by exploring all our potential, not fitting boxes or frameworks and living by expectations.
I’m not here defending an anarchical society without values and principles nor without respect for each other and our environment. I’m just questioning how much limitation those beliefs have been weighing in all generations (past and to come) by just putting in our hearts and minds wrong concepts of the world itself.